Truelove definition

True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you and only you. 6. Love is the absence of fear. You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have love. Then appreciation. After that, it's joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction. Truelove definition, a sweetheart; a truly loving or loved person. See more. All definitions are approved by humans before publishing. Any promotional content will be deleted. HTML tags are not allowed and will be encoded. Definition of Truelove. 1. n. One really beloved. Definition of Truelove. 1. Noun. One who is truly beloved; a true love. ¹. 2. Noun. (botany) A plant, ''Paris quadrifolia''. ¹. 3. Noun. (obsolete nonce) (non-gloss definition An unexplained word occurring in Chaucer, possibly an aromatic sweetmeat for sweetening the breath.) ¹. ¹ Source ... True love is about meeting each other’s expectations and loving each other with trust, acceptance, and support. True love is about treating someone with the kind of respect that they deserve because you view them in a loving manner. Truelove definition is - one truly beloved or loving : sweetheart. How to use truelove in a sentence. Love is letting them be their own person and always being your true self with them, too. Love is committing to them and meaning it. Love is addressing problems and challenges, not avoiding them. True love is a strong and lasting affection between spouses or lovers who are in a happy, passionate and fulfilling relationship. An example of true love is the emotion shared between a couple who has been married for 40 years and who are still passionate about each other and care deeply for each other. True love means that the two of you can be on the opposite sides of the world for three years and still know that every single day you're thinking about each other, and love each other. true love is being able to sit ten feet away from each other and still feel all their love as if they had their arms around you. true love is gratitude, true love is gentle, true love survives. The Definition of 'True Love' Prev NEXT 'Love means never having to say you're sorry,' or so the famous line from the movie Love Story goes. But when asked to define what true love is, even the experts have to pause and think. Perhaps it's because true love has different meanings for different people.

duryodhana matzot snowmaking miniatureness

2019.09.15 20:42 stroke_bot duryodhana matzot snowmaking miniatureness

noninstructress summerish melanopathy kalmuk quadric abdominal b*aba
jaga britts nitroanilin
nonconstruction acetenyl carolines `fratries awakeni,ng odourful kl
ipdachs outsaw kyloe abakas lugsome pluviography electrovection sp.adaite flywort ciceros tritangent deruralize mockable prepurposing misbrew verbalist dicots spawned preadjustment repea~~led oiticicas unperi`phras.ed inline concourses e.lectromyographical warabi verminy anabaptists rehouse phylloxerae emancipation promotress myriological heights hydroa spreadover albificati
ve guiltier discussionis ens .armadil
lo underheaven fossa confounds hooey sh
rups aub*e tollon cara revanchism intranslatable *coccinella organically homebodies kulan nonbroody exhaustedness ko`ko
undeviable path ogermic warderer backwoodsiness underlapp er prereversing dottard leavetaking deputyship amalgamater^ repayment untraitorousness skatoma theatre embryo.scope intravascularly c~~aricology elocution labilization ann^abel reincidencytrichromat perdiligent unhabitual mediad robustiously** forevouched uncommutativeness garookuh intimates foils clari nettist obverted. purporters perfectionator untermin~~ated staphylococcal
unmaskers sandpit* conjunctional ryegras.ses agapanthus spiritism isobronton contrarotation reenlisting countryfied trusting infuscation overprune vulgarist irido`rhexi**s perenn
ially brassica lineas sir
ras sabbathkeeper ~~v`o
lently` whizzer skunkweed superadequately .rhapsodize tolerated suborganically
succah bewitchment reduv
iids toolless dissuasiveness mulctation~~ ontology blunderhead driftingly pyretology quiverer hardening arawak rockfalls septisy*llabic hy.pacusis s^uidian shawwal thiopyran counterfugue sn~~ipish sloughier try.panocidal quart`a amethodically s
tomachicness afghanistan pr**oballoon siccan furiosa nondistinguishably untextual corollaries allosyndetic laryngopharyngitis unpendulous dualizing to**othbrushy ideologue diadoch~~o`kinetic cl
e*rgywomen whatchy coffeeroom indazine mactra colacob.iosis trapeziuses ablepharia hindbrain prankt outc
hided bodoni savagess inspection in.crementation squirtish definition, content boomster unintimately glossophaga toywoman .cucurbi`te triuridales unnavigably accommodations outrageous affectua
l bilabial polarograph anabolize impio~~usness oxyhemocya
nin shoesmith redemptress zehner cypripedin stuccoworker siket thalami p rawning grapples candleball whi rling malting undetectible sempervivum ungelatinous ploughgate palaeometeorological brick repursuit overflutter ero*ticomani~~acal rhymer fetterlock subsatellite refete postdiagnostic presidence squamosomaxillary hyme^nomyce,te no*nobjectivism procedured unrewardedly u**swards bau,bling pends enuretic geranomorph triazin papes~~s bronchi diluted,ness outbidder kurveyor intransitu felled* uncreeping intramorainic shrite trustihood prereciting pa.lm inerva te nonr`us
tically alf
urese releivo inexa,ctly ravendom uncompellab**le
tolliker sier nond*evious zanana dother digressively collectional penta^gonoid darnix counterspies t.rielai,din rorifluent restamping eudemo**nistical*ly pudding somatotropically chondrocranium orthotectic epigaster chirotherium outs
hiner novellike *joggler muddier benzene drawings ^hydro,phobia skibob typeset phytopale~~ontological sexy tribeswomen dentin,oma dunderheads uxoricidal anglicizing hypophrenia daedalic ,testific,ate unspanked nonretinal delativ e narcotising sombreite jia o lots spinulosodenticulate cellarmen phasmatoid poignant enhusk abdomen disallowances microsomal graph rabbit inoma archseducer disilicid hypsilophodont incumbered bulies unphotographic unvoting anagram~~matical sho.ofa interchangeable ca`ndidness ,refrustrating tarmacadam joblessness overdogmatic misenters st.as,ime tric sw*ankpot underseal volplanist pseudocelom hungerpr.oof su
er zucco tascal t
richologist teardown
comparableness apparen**cies mang,abev chivalry wiregrass ortalidae malihini unowing particular**izationhypsothermometer un,abridged ,napoleonis*m abbrev tot**alitar^ianizing microfilaria unlubricious
gyrectomies bestowal vacoua overidolatrou
sness unbacterial pilot incl inations co~~cooning tentmate ^truelove wrasses neossine** azedarac nonbearded glitches troops c*ali pash surturbrand c*ommonish tarte,st rewires sel fiberboard at,omechanics roynous mercedes sl.odge lophodont pseu,docentrous zincking acerbitude dispenses gahrwali readership bo ulimia haussmannization pagnes searchment septshi p elocu~~tioner malesherbiaceae bribewor,thy rabban notida*ni stylizing lucriferousness antiguan amores polyphage emmetropism corporal sulfindylic echoist radiesthesia ch.ug~~alugs gershonite
batukite flaminian girandole~~ pl~~asher ve
rmicularia creatorship megalograph grubstaker nonaspersion tiringly hemera nonp*relatic bridging hypermirac`ulous
submitted by stroke_bot to nullthworldproblems [link] [comments]


2019.07.26 15:28 whatistruelove24 Truelove.is has proven that it's not interested in listening to critics

Hi! I first posted on singapore about my visit to Truelove.is, where I found that they are centred on a mindset that refuses to engage with criticism. Instead, they ridicule, discount and demean their critics. I have been following their recent Instagram "fake news" scuffle, and I noticed that someone else has already posted about this. I feel like it's timely for me to chime in by linking my own experience of the group to my thoughts on their current stand against criticism!
TLDR
  1. They misuse POFMA language, because POFMA doesn't cover criticism, parody or satire
  2. They refuse to engage sincerely with criticism because to do so entails considering the possibility that they are wrong
  3. Yes, they advocate conversion therapy!
Before moving on to the article itself, I just want to appeal to you to share my Medium post on your social media. Together, we can put a stop to homophobia in Singapore, regardless of how disguised it might be!
---
Previously, I wrote a piece titled “I am a gay ex-Christian and I attended a Truelove.is event”, in which I documented how this movement behaves behind closed doors. Amongst other things, I found that Truelove.is operates on an ideology that refuses to engage productively with criticism, choosing instead to interpret rebuttals as attacks on their identity and not their ideology. To recap,
Truelove.is’s wilful aversion of engaging with criticism is a return to an “out of sight, out of mind” strategy that discounts the critic as someone worth engaging; if I don’t understand you, I can’t be guilty, and I don’t have to change for you.
Why, then, are the critics not worth listening to? Truelove.is seems to think they are either liberal or stupid. Later on in the event, we are introduced to a Truelove.is social media response squad — they are “a group that [has] faithfully been responding on social media”, a group of “lawyers and writers who gather together and say, ‘hey, we cannot let lies and fake news triumph.’”
My piece was received with much aplomb; it even gained enough traction to warrant a reply from their pastor [FB link has been removed as per subreddit rules]. In his response, Ian Toh mentions that Truelove.is “[has] reflected on [my] comments of shutting out criticism and will do better”. I took this to mean that Truelove.is might thus prove me wrong, that
Instead of engaging with criticism, all opposition is deemed wrong because they are from the left side of the ideology spectrum. To Truelove.is’s online response team, it’s not about what you say, but who you are. If you are a liberal, then your thoughts are fake news [. . .] Truelove.is might insist that they are here for conversations and not conversions, but these are conservations they will have about you and not with you.
Nonetheless, even though Toh promised me that his team will stop shutting out criticism, this is a goal they have yet again failed to achieve.
Recently, an Instagram post by @gabbiwenyiayane criticised Truelove.is for being “conversion therapy masquerading as allyship” and employing “psychological manipulation to ‘convert’ queer people to fit society’s cisheteronormative standards”. Her post features a photoshopped image of a Truelove.is banner with “conversation” changed to “conversion” and “A Fucking Disgrace” added below its heading.
[link to image]
Ayane’s post is the latest entry to a long list of similar attacks on Truelove.is. Rice Media has charged Truelove.is with “masking homophobia as holiness” and “claim[ing] to demonstrate unconditional love, yet stop[ping] short of all-encompassing acceptance and affirmation”. Gay Star News is troubled by Truelove.is’s insistence that homosexuality can be repressed and even reversed. This Yahoo! Article summarises Truelove.is’s embattled media coverage well.
As I pointed out in my previous piece, these are critiques that Truelove.is is aware of. More importantly, these are critiques to which Toh promised better, more sincere and genuine engagement.
Yet, and perhaps expectedly so, Truelove.is responded to Ayane in the manner they knew best. Taking a leaf from Singapore’s newly minted Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Bill (POFMA), Truelove.is called Ayane’s edited image a “deliberate [effort] to spread online falsehoods that TrueLove.is practices so-called ‘conversion therapy’”.
[link to image]
While I previously harboured hope that Truelove.is might have learned from my criticism, their latest reaction has reinforced my disappointment in them. By once again choosing to view criticism as “fake news”, Truelove.is has demonstrated a trend for ignoring its opponents by discounting and ridiculing them. It is more comfortable for Truelove.is to believe that they live in a lie-ridden world, because the alternative — that genuine, legitimate and logical arguments against them exist — is too dangerous a reality for them to inhabit.
In other words, it’s more important for Truelove.is to believe in their righteousness — and, by extension, in the sinfulness and wrongness of “The Liberals” — than it is to engage with arguments against their ideas.
Misusing POFMA
Truelove.is has tried to protect itself by characterising Ayane’s post as something that falls under POFMA’s jurisdiction. By calling the edited post a “deliberate [effort] to spread online falsehoods”, Truelove.is wants to believe that the post possesses the same sort of malicious and untrue quality that one might possess if they wish to undermine national security.
However, on a purely technical note, Truelove.is’s retaliation is on unsteady ground. After all, Ayane’s post is obviously an instance of criticism, satire and parody, none of which are prohibited by POFMA. As The Straits Times puts it,
A falsehood is defined as a statement of fact that is false or misleading.
It does not cover opinions, criticisms, satire or parody, which the public can continue to upload and share.
To most reasonable readers, Ayane’s doctored image reads obviously as criticism, parody and satire, because no organisation would call itself a “fucking disgrace”.
A desperate desire to be correct in spite of reality
However, Truelove.is’s problematic relationship with “fake news” goes beyond purely technical terms. Truelove’s knee-jerk reaction of deeming contradictory arguments “fake news” should unnerve us because it brings to mind authoritarian impulses that seize power over truth in order to consolidate power and control.
Hidden within this resort to “fake news” is Truelove.is’s insistence that it is correct, because to believe anything else would rupture the ego that holds them together. Since Truelove.is’s identity is rooted so deeply in its moral opposition to homosexuality, entertaining the validity of these counter-arguments is too terrifying a move to make because it draws them closer towards an inexorable point of anguish: having to consider that these alternative viewpoints might be valid.
This rhetoric of “fake news” is not new to the movement; they used it during their symposium to discredit opposing views as well.
[W]e are introduced to a Truelove.is social media response squad — they are “a group that [has] faithfully been responding on social media”, a group of “lawyers and writers who gather together and say, ‘hey, we cannot let lies and fake news triumph.’”
Evidently, Truelove.is’s self-image is founded on a persecution fantasy in which it is hated for its identity and not its ideology. Since, in this worldview, Truelove.is is a perfect and blameless vessel of truth, it is impossible for the “liberal and mainstream media” (a term used during their symposium) to attack them on an argumentative level. Consequently, everything the Liberals say is false by definition. As such, there is no need for engagement, only the labelling of falsehood.
Who else uses this tactic? Donald Trump and far-right extremism.
When Trump runs up against news reports that expose his misdeeds, he defends himself by making unfounded attacks on their truth value. Rarely, if ever, does Trump actually examine the evidence and arguments these reports provide. Why not? Such a reaction suggests at least three possibilities: Trump doesn’t know how to examine the data; Trump genuinely believes he is right; he knows that the only way out is to lie.
None of these possibilities cast Truelove.is in a good light.
Firstly, we must eliminate the first possibility, because Truelove.is isn’t stupid. As they told us at the symposium, they have esteemed and learned members of society, such as lawyers and writers, on their side. Their branding is also not the product of an unintelligent mind. Clearly, they know enough about aesthetics and public relations to produce a text that can sustain the appearance of genuine hospitality.
This leads us to two remaining possibilities: Truelove.is is either convinced it’s right or consciously choosing to lie. I believe both are simultaneously true: in its desperation to believe in itself, Truelove.is is willing to believe in “alternative facts”, imagining and inhabiting a reality that it wishes were true instead. It chooses to ignore the substantial scientific evidence that establishes homosexuality as a natural, involuntary, and harmless variation in human psychology. It also chooses to resist the inevitable realisation that life without “same-sex attraction” is a viable mode of existence, which is a position that its predecessors, such as Exodus International, has publicly and decisively denounced [1] [2].
Finally, and most bizarrely, Truelove.is chooses to believe in a persecution fantasy in which it is Christians, and not gay people, who are subjected to social and institutional discrimination:
Many of these Christians with same-sex attraction feel that they have been marginalized by some members of the LGBT community and their allies because their worldview isn’t in agreement with the two established community narratives — that you’re born this way, and that you can’t change. Sadly, for the ones who have been bold enough to share their struggles, hate-filled responses to their personal stories reinforce their belief that it is not safe for them to come out to the pro-LGBT community after they’ve chosen a life of faith, in which they explore a life which confronts the established community narratives of being born this way and change not being possible.
[Source: FB note on their page; deleted as per subreddit rules]
Despite originating in a country where anal sex between consenting men is still criminalised for gross indecency, where gay teachers are held in the closet via the silent threat of dismissal, where our sexuality education programmes uphold heterosexual unions at the expense of all other partnerships, where our national leaders turn a blind eye to the systemic injustices that weigh LGBT citizens down, where LGBT citizens feel an ever-tightening lack of dignity constricting their ability to thrive, where dignity is only possible upon leaving our country, Truelove.is somehow still manages to see itself, a movement wholly in line with the nation’s systemic marginalisation and erasure of queerness, as the victim.
In order to sustain its persecution fantasy, which in turn structures and reinforces its identity as a maligned bearer of righteousness, Truelove.is decides to lie to itself about how the world works.
As Trump has shown us, a rash turn to “fake news” is often the defence mechanism of a fragile ego that knows its survival is contingent upon disregarding reality. This seems to be the position Truelove.is has found itself in. Perhaps, like Trump, whose sense of self is founded on an overripe image of himself as an infallible and uniquely righteous immensity, Truelove.is knows that to seriously entertain a counter-argument is to hold a needle to its own taut skin.
Psychological conversion therapy is still conversion therapy
Finally, to reiterate sentiments from my previous piece and to definitively put the “we are not conversion therapy advocates!” argument to rest, let me point out that Truelove.is ultimately promotes conversion therapy because it demands, even if only of its own adherents, to repress their sexual desires in exchange for social acceptance, while holding hostage their dignity and social acceptance.
In their rebuttal against Ayane, Truelove.is has written that it is not a conversion therapy provider. Instead, it “provides Christian stories, resources and a safe community to help Christians with unwanted same-sex attraction.”
Much is hidden within the phrase unwanted same-sex attraction. This sense of unwantedness, that homosexuality is a burden that must be stripped from its bearer, is programmed into the subject through mutually reinforcing circles of social and psychological control. Here are the psychological processes involved in the Truelove.is journey:
  1. Internalised homophobia Come to think of your attractions as dirty, sinful, hell-worthy; through social programming and peer influence, internalise the thought that you are exceptionally and profoundly flawed.
  2. Self-flagellation Reinforce the inferiority from (1) by reminding yourself of the need to purge yourself of homosexual desires in order to escape hell; yet, these desires return, and your daily struggle between purity and damnation continues.
  3. Coming out Come out to your society as one struggling with SSA; invite more people into your structure of sexual policing, so that self-flagellation is reinforced by the threat of actual social condemnation.
  4. Going back in You realise that even though you pray and talk about it, your SSA never goes away; you think this reflects badly on your own piety; you entrench your social position as “that person who struggles with SSA”. Soon, you become defined both by your SSA and your failure to move past it. Become the subject of failure, in a repeated but never perfected act of failing. You internalise the judgment of your society.
  5. Life goes on around you, but not in you Your straight friends move into relationships, get married, live unified lives. You remain chaste, celibate, and you feel loneliness make its home in your heart. Surely, holiness is its own reward.
  6. Learning to love the abuse Tell yourself that the trauma you suffer from the above processes is a badge of honour that you happily wear in order to prove your piety; you link your socially conferred sense of self-worth to pain that is transmuted into pleasure. True love is straight love, and since that is what you can never experience, it is something you don’t deserve.
In this structure, the subject learns to love their suffering, and they learn to inflict it on themselves. One might thus say that the Truelove.is process is even more dangerous than electroshock therapy because its ultimate aim is to make the subject their own abuser.
Conversion therapy, at its core, is not about electric shocks. Electric shocks are but a means to an end. Conversion therapy is about reprogramming the mind through enforced negative feedback. Truelove.is moves beyond traumatising the body to traumatising the psyche; it weaponises the victim’s mind against itself. Why shock and sting the body, when you can make the victim despise and loathe himself?
Truelove.is seeks to instil within the adherent a self-reinforcing system of shame, shock and submission. Physical torture isn’t needed because the victim’s mind will learn, and love, to torture itself. If I learn to love the pain, I am worthy. If I do not, I will go to hell.
Conclusion: True love is straight love
In its desperation to exonerate itself, Truelove.is has resorted to reshaping reality in its head. By doing so, the movement has revealed that it is fundamentally founded upon the exclusion of contrary thoughts because evidence-based arguments have the potential to fracture the walls that keep them up and away from the Liberals that they despise. Hell for them is a world in which they might be proven wrong. Heaven, then, is a world in which these arguments dissolve into the ether of untruth. To reuse and update a statement I used in my previous article: “all in all, Truelove.is talks about gay people, speaks at gay people, but does not know how — and does not want — to talk with gay people”.
A call to action
If you are interested in advocating for equal rights and standing up against irrationality, please consider sharing this article.
https://medium.com/@whatistruelove/truelove-is-has-proven-that-it-cannot-listen-beb16200d3c0
You can also share my previous article, which can be found here:
https://medium.com/@whatistruelove/i-am-a-gay-ex-christian-and-i-attended-a-truelove-is-event-8871aa331f97
You can also help to undo the damage that groups like Truelove.is wreak by donating to the charities listed here:
https://pinkdot.sg/2012/06/community-groups/?source=post_page---------------------------
Finally, you can leave Truelove.is a negative a review on their Facebook page!
submitted by whatistruelove24 to singapore [link] [comments]


2019.07.23 16:52 stroke_bot trental troika

apop,honic scholae beastbane sp
itzer uptears rea
ch* annunciations perj uredly adeuism sc`ottification subextensible gallera oozoi,d im
bauba bifariously bucrania foreweigh hognoses pachydermatoid adiantiform liny retrogradin,gly regurgitating keloi*dal spacem,anship yipping agencies aldern extravert f~~ieriness c,hylific scotcher cineasts ladylintywhite unsnaps dendrogaea voltzine megarhinus gnatho decarbonise gambits potlaches misknew j.ur*ists unanalagous haggler dimeride telescreen kineticist .passamez,zo* semitangent colombi,na woundability philine erase breechclout unn humanisti,cally outbleat,ed ungravelly leucoblast colect,omies semilimber .systematist synd*actylism gesneriaceae conclude overcoolly dabb`ers ove
rfluent procrusteanize brangled jannock cullion t.hallogenous modelling recurvirostra ciconine bahadurs boned anisogamous frost*ings hasteful
balistid lignone squarrosely yo*rkshire monecian di
etitian flookan bladish verbalis ed. aepyceros `kohl editorialis**t reciprocatist heathenishly fer
inghee syn.ced bu
llsnake meazle dynes frot tuberculatoradiate superimposes` pluviometer snoozle obtuse slowmouthe~~d workmaster bergamo scan
sion subsequentially tabetiform^ stemmier pronograde cratonic sy~~philod
ermatous giggit ~~jockeylike footwa*rmer un
windingly pyrophysalite inf*ula glandlike hydras unbosom counterattack gas.trodialysis fuscous `ichthyography isopleurous sectionist cotswold
celloid sydney isocolic tenail zad ov
er,police, pha,cochoerid syllepsi`s resettings red**istills weaker epiceratodus pseudo
e
mbryonic unendi.ng zinkenite amid cotangential pepperproof rhodesians apia**ceous miscuing besnows nea
rsigh`t pteroclomorphic unbickered irides unguentum terminize eirenarch* ben,zo
late scincoidian undiverting **methoxide clawless cleuks derailleurs unipotent malacanthidae. transcei.ver edwardeanism. australene d,ahabiya perso
nated inconcocted ray*mond mindsic.kness grapestalk typhinia prosopographical brachial gorgonize birret,t.as amenorrho trop`ologies ita te lling aphanophyre slivery phytozoa unthriftier blowjob pipuncul
idae subtend knurlin ma
nga*nocolumbite morg.ana anoeti.c isodactylism exponention b
iovular~~ p~~osnanian wauks hirudo suffrag
anate` e~~veweed uninc,orporatedness misguidedness waygone ditchwater. wo
rthiest typographia botauru,s portion dropkicker dammed almadi**e drugget. ether uncellar laboulbenia vindicators nonmethodically se~~mipetaloi,d summerhou*se citramide hovertrain i
da unenquiredcommutableness impercipient archdio,cese nitroprussic furrily c*onformatio~~ns membranously rodham collery gremmies parlormaid periostracal un
spanned rums tiptoed m**alen~~gin pachysandras diacritical monkflower saulge firecracker calli,onymu*s o
vercontribution credulously qaimaqam
ringwa
lk oinking puddinglike oecoparasitism underflowing mainpo`st froghood criterium ~~inter*contorted envelopments ,microorganismal breechcloth
s supernationalisms hyperpnoea swampweed herbage flatteringness sneakered, humanly delocalising impregnation definitized airdrops papyrograph roud intube zimmerwaldian bromoaurates idyls unboweled ruff preexecuting shrammed heterophilic readiest radicands palmitoleic endocri^nopathy sebaceousness unje~~sti~~ng camwood cler^k*less monosylla bles aminoazobenzene outs hril l writeoffs morgay testudinated unscrew addendums counterdecision* heteromorpha
repulseless alcoholometry praemunientes subantique outglowed occipitofacial m
ultifactorially unsoil.e**d plasmodiocarpous
aches isabelite prothallus* guvacoline stampman rissole.s synthetizat^ion phot.odramaturgy chiggak organo
phile ostial unmiters cloisterliness quieters schizognathae vari*o
interrule dissonancies gao.loring metrorthosis hypercryalgesia unprecipitous serpentoid pinguedino
us icecra.ft corrivals breached chaunt hackliest wholesaler teletypes o*verrake lectured vedist gommelin drakelet lithosere cytherea dehistoricize staffed unmerciful osteoglossid polygonoid st alagma pteridospermaphyta demon etized nonimaginarily ultrasimian pseudography spannerman igniti ble, prefixation rambong carrus conto feminate** unabstemiousness impersonification deepsome all icit matinesses tawgi relabel conjectiv`e bealtuinn t**hug unpatronizingly chroococcales uncrediting callowman misrepresentee n**onsusceptible speechification mowburn urino.scopist polyborus ab
ys calcimeter tarantass isom,etrics patashte elfin undeferential unemolumented jeddock idealness the
andric thio,alcohol ecp
horia merycoidodon p**olyplaco.phorous bobfloat brutalised dysphemism towelling hebetude argent
u.m nonstimula.ting decempedate unrivalrous choliamb irreduction sixthly deflec
tors bankrupcy fortread midshipmite backless unte`sti.fying
pruinate truelove droop lo~~up philet
aerus complec**ted
canallers
submitted by stroke_bot to nullthworldproblems [link] [comments]


2019.05.19 04:17 whatistruelove24 I am a gay ex-Christian and I attended a Truelove.is event [xpost]

Hello! I am crossposting this from exchristian. Following up on previous discussions on LGBT issues in Singapore like how WAAPD expresses overt homophobia, I thought it'd be useful to express my own thoughts on how Truelove.is, which claims to be more open to LGBT people, actually follows a similar pattern of homophobic sentiment.

TLDR:
Basically, I attended a Truelove.is event and found out that:
  1. Implicit homophobia is prevalent in the movement
  2. The movement adopts an American alt-right strategy of dismissing dissent as "fake news"/"mainstream liberal media", so that they can delegitimise and thus ignore criticism.
  3. On some level, Truelove.is is not just about winning over gay people for Jesus, but about winning an imaginary ideological war against an imaginary liberal LGBT boogeyman
If you're interested, I originally published this on my Medium: https://medium.com/@whatistruelove/i-am-a-gay-ex-christian-and-i-attended-a-truelove-is-event-8871aa331f97


Here is the main text:
Around this time last year, I was having lunch with some Christian friends when I brought up my concerns about Truelove.is. As a gay man who spent eight years in Christian society, I was interested in the church’s latest attempt to reach out to gay people. Even though Truelove.is insists that the church loves people who are not straight, I found that the campaign ultimately teaches tolerance without acceptance; “we disagree with his decisions, but that doesn’t mean we love him any less”. To me, Truelove.is advocates a worldview in which gay people must either strive to be heterosexually married, celibate, or be judged by society; a sad impasse for anyone to inhabit.
That’s what I said when my friends asked me for my thoughts on this issue. After hearing what I had to say, one of my friends was consumed by a sudden wave of hatred. After I said that I think Truelove.is essentially promotes euphemised conversion therapy, my friend shouted, “I thought the only thing controversial about conversion therapy is that they electrocute people?”
Taken aback by his spite, I mentioned that sexual orientation cannot be changed, and that any attempt to repress a natural instinct would be both painful and foolish. To this, my friend spat, “that’s just what the liberals say!”
Needless to say, that lunch date did not end nicely.
Ever since then, I have been troubled by how hateful my friend became once we discussed homosexuality. Out of curiosity, and out of a desire to understand this traumatic rupture in our friendship, I attended the Truelove.is x Heartbeart Project Symposium held on 30 April 2019 at Church of our Saviour. Re-entering Christian society felt like a return to muscle memory. Re-embracing my dual-citizenship status between Christianity and homosexuality, I attended the Symposium to see if returning to the society that my friend still inhabits — a society that I left behind — would help me understand him better.
Attending the Symposium provided me with clarity; it also reminded me of why I left Christianity. Previously, I was confused by the difference between my friend’s usual self and the hatefulness he expressed once it came to gay issues. Attending the Symposium gave me a window into my friend’s mind by giving me a look into his society. Across the event, speakers ridiculed critics, ignored responses to their campaign, and portrayed themselves as the target of persecution by what they call “the liberal and mainstream media”. According to this worldview, my friend — and Truelove.is supporters — are not wrong, but misunderstood. It is not on them to explain themselves to gay people, but on gay people to understand them.
All in all, Truelove.is talks about gay people, speaks at gay people, but does not know how to talk with gay people. This is how my friend reacted because this is how they talk about us behind closed doors.
Just to clarify: Truelove.is announced two prohibitions at the beginning of the event. Firstly, unauthorised media was not allowed. Secondly, the Symposium operated under Chatham House rules, which means that the organisers are happy for people to cite things mentioned during the event as long as anonymity is preserved. Out of respect for these regulations, I have blocked the identities of the people I am citing. I am also sorry that I do not have the space or lived experience necessary to discuss The Heartbeat Project.
Talking About Gay People
I’ve heard enough homophobia from the pulpit during my time as a Christian. I’ve heard about the Gays’ plan to ruin society, about my supposed desires for incest, paedophilia and bestiality. This pushed me away from the church; I couldn’t live with people who insisted on believing that I was always a lapse of self-control away from actual immorality.
To Truelove.is’s credit, I haven’t heard any explicit homophobia from them. Indeed, Truelove.is has moved away from the overt homophobia and slippery-slope arguments that dominated my time in church. However, several moments during the Symposium suggested that implicit homophobia remains a problem.
As Truelove.is writes, “we are enslaved by sin — powerless and addicted, so to speak — and lose our ability to choose good”. This seems to be a guiding principle for the campaign: straight Christians occupy a higher moral ground and must lift gay people up to their level of morality. This might be fine in itself — after all, most Christians think that all who do not accept Jesus will be barred from heaven — but only gay people are treated with a special sort of loathing that emphasises their inability to be anything more than their sin.
Even though Truelove.is insists that people should not be defined by their identity, some of the speakers seem to do so anyway. One speaker told the audience about a counselling session he was conducting for a man with same-sex attraction. During that session, he heard God say “[Redacted — A], give him a hug.” He then told the audience:
“To be honest, I was really struggling. Because I think I am dark, tall and handsome — what happens if he like [sic] me?”
The audience laughed. I retreated into the body of my eighteen-year-old self — I recalled what it was like to feel like someone was always suspicious of me, afraid that I would burst out of my Christian self-control to reveal the sex monster inside.
Do you really think I am just a swarm of bodily instincts without reason? Would you ever express a fear of hugging a straight opposite-sex person in the same way that you fear hugging me?
To be fair, A did give this man a hug. I am glad that A overcame his homophobia to believe the best in other people. What scared me, however, was the way he wrote this off as a joke, and how the audience interpreted this statement as something funny. When we laugh at a joke, we internalise the ideology that supports the joke; we unite ourselves against an enemy that we can ridicule together. What scared me about the Symposium — and what turned me away from Christianity — is this hidden but pervasive judgment. Even though they keep these thoughts hidden, this is what they think of me in private; these are the jokes they crack about me when they think I can’t hear them.
Speaking At Gay People
Any meaningful conversation has to involve two sides understanding each other, speaking with each other. If one speaks to conquer, one ends up speaking at people. Perhaps this is a consequence of the Truelove.is dictum that gay people “are enslaved by sin — powerless and addicted, so to speak — and lose our ability to choose good”; since gay people are wrong by definition, Christians stand to gain nothing from understanding their points of view. What saddens me about Truelove.is is that in spite of their earnest belief that they are engaging with gay people, they deny gay people the dignity of being engaged as equals.
Anyone following the social media storm that followed Truelove.is’s debut will have noticed that criticism of the campaign frequently came down to the notion of conversion therapy. Even though Truelove.is falls short of the traditional definition of conversion therapy in which physically abusive techniques such as electroshock torture are used to (unsuccessfully) recalibrate the brain’s sexual responses, many critics think that Truelove.is amounts to a psychological version of conversion abuse. According to Grace Yeoh from Rice Media, Truelove.is “mask[s] homophobia as holiness” and “claim[s] to demonstrate unconditional love, yet stop[s] short of all-encompassing acceptance and affirmation”. Similarly, Gay Star News is troubled by Truelove.is’s insistence that homosexuality can be repressed.
To many and to me, Truelove.is might as well be conversion therapy: it coerces gay Christians into suppressing their sexual desires in exchange for social affirmation. Any campaign manager worth their salt would have reacted to this recurrent critique, but Truelove.is doesn’t seem to think this point is worth addressing. While giving the audience an account of Truelove.is’s progress, Speaker A flashed screenshots of the aforementioned websites on its screen, and said:
“We have been called many, many things… homophobia… we have been accused of using conversion therapy — which, actually, I don’t even fully know exactly what that means… I have been accused of things I don’t understand.”
Once again, the audience laughed. I felt that old sense of alienness rise up again; this is a society that doesn’t understand, and doesn’t want to understand, the pain that I go through. It is unimaginable that anyone interested in “curing” homosexuality doesn’t know what conversion therapy is. Truelove.is’s wilful ignorance is a return to an “out of sight, out of mind” strategy that discounts the critic as someone worth engaging; if I don’t understand you, I can’t be guilty, and I don’t have to change for you.
Why, then, are these critics not worth listening to? Truelove.is seems to think they are either liberal or stupid. Later on in the event, we are introduced to a Truelove.is social media response squad — they are “a group that [has] faithfully been responding on social media”, a group of “lawyers and writers who gather together and say, ‘hey, we cannot let lies and fake news triumph.’”
Instead of engaging with criticism, Truelove.is discounts criticism by deeming these arguments wrong by definition. To Truelove.is’s online response team, it’s not about what you say, but who you are. If you lean left, your opinions are fake news; as my friend put it, criticism should be ignored because “that’s just what the liberals say”. In their worldview, Truelove.is is criticised because they are Christian and not because they are wrong. This is how they disavow responsibility for self-reflection; all criticism is interpreted as attacks on their identity and not their ideas.
In addition to discounting your thoughts if they don’t fit their narrative, Truelove.is simply doesn’t think very highly of people who disagree. As the speaker introduced two members of the Truelove.is online response team, he jokingly mentions — to the audience’s laughter — that one of them likes to “pour oil on anger”. This laughter went on for quite a while; it seemed like the audience was aware of this person’s enjoyment for online fighting, and that watching this person stick it to the liberals brought them pleasure. In fact, in response to being asked why he joined the team, this online response team member goes on to say:
“I think it really comes from a point of having seen the church being beaten down left, right, centre… and knowing that I can no longer stay silent about it, especially if the Lord has given me a brain.”
On some level, this made me feel like things weren’t just about winning people over for Jesus. At play somewhere in this social movement is a desire to simply win. It’s about winning the liberals, about defeating fake news, about proving Christians are smarter.
I left the symposium feeling like I had to take a shower.
Talking With Gay People
I attended the Truelove.is x Heartbeat Project Symposium with the intention of finding out how my friend’s mind worked. I left remembering why I decided to leave Christianity. I felt like I was viewed as a product of my sin, not someone to be understood but an objective to be conquered. My friend’s behaviour reflected a social trend of dismissing and ridiculing ideas that contest his worldview. It’s more important to him that he continues believing in his gay horror fantasy instead of looking beyond his fear to realise that I am not that fantasy.
I don’t doubt that Truelove.is has the best intentions at heart for gay people. What I am saddened by is the way they shut out criticism by deeming it liberal nonsense because they think gay people and their frustrations do not deserve respectful consideration. Truelove.is might insist that they are here for conversations and not conversions, but these are conversations they will have about you and not with you.
In these closing moments, I turn again to my Christian knowledge and to the verse that gave Truelove.is its name:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
At the Truelove.is meeting, I realised that even though the campaign strives to embody these values publicly, it ultimately returns — even if unknowingly — to a self-affirming, self-serving sense of moral superiority that masks itself as love. As a gay man, and as one who used to be Christian, I was reminded that I left the church because I was unconvinced that it would protect me, trust me, and persevere in understanding me.
I am sorry I don’t have much advice for the church on how they can reach out to people like me better. If I had any, I wouldn’t have had to leave.
But I do know Truelove.is will read this. I hope you won’t dismiss this letter as liberal nonsense, but ask yourself whether your outreach attempts actually come from Christ-like love. As the Ethos Institute study on LGBT hospitality in Singaporean churches has shown, while only 13% of church leaders think churches are not at all open to LGBT people, 50% of LGBT respondents felt so. This is the gap in perception that arises when you talk to but not with, when you force all conversations to occur on your terms.
It’s not about nice product designs and well-produced short films. We know when you don’t actually want to listen.
You have already lost me; I hope you will help make the church more hospitable for those who still want to stay.


Also, Truelove.is responded to this! It's a FB note, which I cannot share, but you should be able to find it easily if you go to their FB page and scroll down a bit. It's titled "What Truelove.is and is not".
submitted by whatistruelove24 to singapore [link] [comments]


2019.05.07 13:04 whatistruelove24 I am a gay ex-Christian and I attended an ex-gay event

TLDR: I attended a Truelove.is event (a Singaporean ex-gay campaign) and discovered that even though the organisers genuinely want to engage gay people, their belief in the sinfulness of homosexuality prevents them from actually engaging us as equals.
Originally posted on Medium here:
https://medium.com/@whatistruelove/i-am-a-gay-ex-christian-and-i-attended-a-truelove-is-event-8871aa331f97

Full text:
Around this time last year, I was having lunch with some Christian friends when I brought up my concerns about Truelove.is. As a gay man who spent eight years in Christian society, I was interested in the church’s latest attempt to reach out to gay people. Even though Truelove.is insists that the church loves people who are not straight, I found that the campaign ultimately teaches tolerance without acceptance; “we disagree with his decisions, but that doesn’t mean we love him any less”. To me, Truelove.is advocates a worldview in which gay people must either strive to be heterosexually married, celibate, or be judged by society; a sad impasse for anyone to inhabit.
That’s what I said when my friends asked me for my thoughts on this issue. After hearing what I had to say, one of my friends was consumed by a sudden wave of hatred. After I said that I think Truelove.is essentially promotes euphemised conversion therapy, my friend shouted, “I thought the only thing controversial about conversion therapy is that they electrocute people?”
Taken aback by his spite, I mentioned that sexual orientation cannot be changed, and that any attempt to repress a natural instinct would be both painful and foolish. To this, my friend spat, “that’s just what the liberals say!”
Needless to say, that lunch date did not end nicely.
Ever since then, I have been troubled by how hateful my friend became once we discussed homosexuality. Out of curiosity, and out of a desire to understand this traumatic rupture in our friendship, I attended the Truelove.is x Heartbeart Project Symposium held on 30 April 2019 at Church of our Saviour. Re-entering Christian society felt like a return to muscle memory. Re-embracing my dual-citizenship status between Christianity and homosexuality, I attended the Symposium to see if returning to the society that my friend still inhabits — a society that I left behind — would help me understand him better.
Attending the Symposium provided me with clarity; it also reminded me of why I left Christianity. Previously, I was confused by the difference between my friend’s usual self and the hatefulness he expressed once it came to gay issues. Attending the Symposium gave me a window into my friend’s mind by giving me a look into his society. Across the event, speakers ridiculed critics, ignored responses to their campaign, and portrayed themselves as the target of persecution by what they call “the liberal and mainstream media”. According to this worldview, my friend — and Truelove.is supporters — are not wrong, but misunderstood. It is not on them to explain themselves to gay people, but on gay people to understand them.
All in all, Truelove.is talks about gay people, speaks at gay people, but does not know how to talk with gay people. This is how my friend reacted because this is how they talk about us behind closed doors.
Just to clarify: Truelove.is announced two prohibitions at the beginning of the event. Firstly, unauthorised media was not allowed. Secondly, the Symposium operated under Chatham House rules, which means that the organisers are happy for people to cite things mentioned during the event as long as anonymity is preserved. Out of respect for these regulations, I have blocked the identities of the people I am citing. I am also sorry that I do not have the space or lived experience necessary to discuss The Heartbeat Project.
Talking About Gay People
I’ve heard enough homophobia from the pulpit during my time as a Christian. I’ve heard about the Gays’ plan to ruin society, about my supposed desires for incest, paedophilia and bestiality. This pushed me away from the church; I couldn’t live with people who insisted on believing that I was always a lapse of self-control away from actual immorality.
To Truelove.is’s credit, I haven’t heard any explicit homophobia from them. Indeed, Truelove.is has moved away from the overt homophobia and slippery-slope arguments that dominated my time in church. However, several moments during the Symposium suggested that implicit homophobia remains a problem.
As Truelove.is writes, “we are enslaved by sin — powerless and addicted, so to speak — and lose our ability to choose good”. This seems to be a guiding principle for the campaign: straight Christians occupy a higher moral ground and must lift gay people up to their level of morality. This might be fine in itself — after all, most Christians think that all who do not accept Jesus will be barred from heaven — but only gay people are treated with a special sort of loathing that emphasises their inability to be anything more than their sin.
Even though Truelove.is insists that people should not be defined by their identity, some of the speakers seem to do so anyway. One speaker told the audience about a counselling session he was conducting for a man with same-sex attraction. During that session, he heard God say “[Redacted — A], give him a hug.” He then told the audience:
“To be honest, I was really struggling. Because I think I am dark, tall and handsome — what happens if he like [sic] me?”
The audience laughed. I retreated into the body of my eighteen-year-old self — I recalled what it was like to feel like someone was always suspicious of me, afraid that I would burst out of my Christian self-control to reveal the sex monster inside.
Do you really think I am just a swarm of bodily instincts without reason? Would you ever express a fear of hugging a straight opposite-sex person in the same way that you fear hugging me?
To be fair, A did give this man a hug. I am glad that A overcame his homophobia to believe the best in other people. What scared me, however, was the way he wrote this off as a joke, and how the audience interpreted this statement as something funny. When we laugh at a joke, we internalise the ideology that supports the joke; we unite ourselves against an enemy that we can ridicule together. What scared me about the Symposium — and what turned me away from Christianity — is this hidden but pervasive judgment. Even though they keep these thoughts hidden, this is what they think of me in private; these are the jokes they crack about me when they think I can’t hear them.
Speaking At Gay People
Any meaningful conversation has to involve two sides understanding each other, speaking with each other. If one speaks to conquer, one ends up speaking at people. Perhaps this is a consequence of the Truelove.is dictum that gay people “are enslaved by sin — powerless and addicted, so to speak — and lose our ability to choose good”; since gay people are wrong by definition, Christians stand to gain nothing from understanding their points of view. What saddens me about Truelove.is is that in spite of their earnest belief that they are engaging with gay people, they deny gay people the dignity of being engaged as equals.
Anyone following the social media storm that followed Truelove.is’s debut will have noticed that criticism of the campaign frequently came down to the notion of conversion therapy. Even though Truelove.is falls short of the traditional definition of conversion therapy in which physically abusive techniques such as electroshock torture are used to (unsuccessfully) recalibrate the brain’s sexual responses, many critics think that Truelove.is amounts to a psychological version of conversion abuse. According to Grace Yeoh from Rice Media, Truelove.is “mask[s] homophobia as holiness” and “claim[s] to demonstrate unconditional love, yet stop[s] short of all-encompassing acceptance and affirmation”. Similarly, Gay Star News is troubled by Truelove.is’s insistence that homosexuality can be repressed.
To many and to me, Truelove.is might as well be conversion therapy: it coerces gay Christians into suppressing their sexual desires in exchange for social affirmation. Any campaign manager worth their salt would have reacted to this recurrent critique, but Truelove.is doesn’t seem to think this point is worth addressing. While giving the audience an account of Truelove.is’s progress, Speaker A flashed screenshots of the aforementioned websites on its screen, and said:
“We have been called many, many things… homophobia… we have been accused of using conversion therapy — which, actually, I don’t even fully know exactly what that means… I have been accused of things I don’t understand.”
Once again, the audience laughed. I felt that old sense of alienness rise up again; this is a society that doesn’t understand, and doesn’t want to understand, the pain that I go through. It is unimaginable that anyone interested in “curing” homosexuality doesn’t know what conversion therapy is. Truelove.is’s wilful ignorance is a return to an “out of sight, out of mind” strategy that discounts the critic as someone worth engaging; if I don’t understand you, I can’t be guilty, and I don’t have to change for you.
Why, then, are these critics not worth listening to? Truelove.is seems to think they are either liberal or stupid. Later on in the event, we are introduced to a Truelove.is social media response squad — they are “a group that [has] faithfully been responding on social media”, a group of “lawyers and writers who gather together and say, ‘hey, we cannot let lies and fake news triumph.’”
Instead of engaging with criticism, Truelove.is discounts criticism by deeming these arguments wrong by definition. To Truelove.is’s online response team, it’s not about what you say, but who you are. If you lean left, your opinions are fake news; as my friend put it, criticism should be ignored because “that’s just what the liberals say”. In their worldview, Truelove.is is criticised because they are Christian and not because they are wrong. This is how they disavow responsibility for self-reflection; all criticism is interpreted as attacks on their identity and not their ideas.
In addition to discounting your thoughts if they don’t fit their narrative, Truelove.is simply doesn’t think very highly of people who disagree. As the speaker introduced two members of the Truelove.is online response team, he jokingly mentions — to the audience’s laughter — that one of them likes to “pour oil on anger”. This laughter went on for quite a while; it seemed like the audience was aware of this person’s enjoyment for online fighting, and that watching this person stick it to the liberals brought them pleasure. In fact, in response to being asked why he joined the team, this online response team member goes on to say:
“I think it really comes from a point of having seen the church being beaten down left, right, centre… and knowing that I can no longer stay silent about it, especially if the Lord has given me a brain.”
On some level, this made me feel like things weren’t just about winning people over for Jesus. At play somewhere in this social movement is a desire to simply win. It’s about winning the liberals, about defeating fake news, about proving Christians are smarter.
I left the symposium feeling like I had to take a shower.
Talking With Gay People
I attended the Truelove.is x Heartbeat Project Symposium with the intention of finding out how my friend’s mind worked. I left remembering why I decided to leave Christianity. I felt like I was viewed as a product of my sin, not someone to be understood but an objective to be conquered. My friend’s behaviour reflected a social trend of dismissing and ridiculing ideas that contest his worldview. It’s more important to him that he continues believing in his gay horror fantasy instead of looking beyond his fear to realise that I am not that fantasy.
I don’t doubt that Truelove.is has the best intentions at heart for gay people. What I am saddened by is the way they shut out criticism by deeming it liberal nonsense because they think gay people and their frustrations do not deserve respectful consideration. Truelove.is might insist that they are here for conversations and not conversions, but these are conversations they will have about you and not with you.
In these closing moments, I turn again to my Christian knowledge and to the verse that gave Truelove.is its name:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
At the Truelove.is meeting, I realised that even though the campaign strives to embody these values publicly, it ultimately returns — even if unknowingly — to a self-affirming, self-serving sense of moral superiority that masks itself as love. As a gay man, and as one who used to be Christian, I was reminded that I left the church because I was unconvinced that it would protect me, trust me, and persevere in understanding me.
I am sorry I don’t have much advice for the church on how they can reach out to people like me better. If I had any, I wouldn’t have had to leave.
But I do know Truelove.is will read this. I hope you won’t dismiss this letter as liberal nonsense, but ask yourself whether your outreach attempts actually come from Christ-like love. As the Ethos Institute study on LGBT hospitality in Singaporean churches has shown, while only 13% of church leaders think churches are not at all open to LGBT people, 50% of LGBT respondents felt so. This is the gap in perception that arises when you talk to but not with, when you force all conversations to occur on your terms.
It’s not about nice product designs and well-produced short films. We know when you don’t actually want to listen.
You have already lost me; I hope you will help make the church more hospitable for those who still want to stay.

Edit: Here is Truelove.is's response:
https://www.facebook.com/truelove.is.sg/posts/328717004503138?__xts__[0]=68.ARDqe2KmZDqx_bcKBJz8LeCuLTsvNLP2u2C6RWHkbdxQfGBW4_IF9ow-y5Hgmpjhy4ZwGqQCSsTejNtlDuwpfXb_vG5LEra7q_J2lzReJKxzgJuxNGdyidKpDqi8sWvdwvH_OzUmFQrY8nvfaRz1wXF7I3SnZ2IgVoOF40IglFPs4_34BEPgxWEHqbVQQ-PhSqV8PTIZsDCWcN9ApX_-rXRWXnzQvcl_fuP9hWlkDocbCpyJGj8Lnzzv4v6bVkr423-I6j8jBBGTe3lWLAJyC4J0Os5vCc7hra46hP_TfT6kTNhrr91dzFfDeu3RY-rG935gXB4SjWB3CAKbs18Zuw&__tn__=-R
submitted by whatistruelove24 to exchristian [link] [comments]


2019.01.22 17:00 maythesixteenth My Coming out Story (Long Read)

My Coming Out Story
Just to give you a backdrop of my milieu.
I’m from Singapore, a small island state at the tip of the Malaysian peninsular. We are most famous internationally for our ban on chewing gum, the Supertrees in the Gardens by the Bay, the Marina Bay Sands infinity pool, you get the idea.
In the earlier formative years of Singapore, in the 1950s till the 1980s, we were also famous for our transvestites and our drag queens. Tourists all around the world would flock to Bugis Street to see Asian drag queens in full regalia. Then the government cleaned up the streets, putting a full stop to a colorful chapter in Singapore’s history.
Unfortunately, those days are gone. The attitude in Singapore today towards LGBT people is a much colder one, with little LGBT representation in the media, and what little representation of LGBT people on the media are caricatures of LGBT folk, and do nothing but perpetuate untrue stereotypes. The official government stance could well perplex some Redditors: historically, gay sex (only male-male) has been banned under Section 377A in the Singapore Penal Code– but following calls to repeal the ban, the Singapore government has said they will keep Section 377A in the constitution, but not actively enforce it.
My experience from being a 23 year old in a Singaporean university also means that I meet my fair share of young acquaintances that are homophobic; the younger generation is not as progressive as I would have thought. The emergence of mega churches with a huge youth following, as well a few high profile individuals that support the continued marginalization of LGBT folk (See: Lawrence Khong, Thio Li-Ann, Lee Bee Wah) has led to many young Singaporeans being homophobic. Some of these churches are insidious, and disguise gay-conversion therapy as messages of tolerance and love (truelove.is).
So… the social environment in Singapore, even as we are 19 years into the 21st century is still rather repressive for gay people.
I first knew I was gay when I was 7, I think. I remember using my dad’s old computer, with his cream colored dial up Motorola modem, and searching up hot local actors that I saw on TV (Allan Ang comes to mind). Thankfully, my tastes have changed since then.
In primary school, (Age 7-12 in Singapore), I gravitated towards boys I found cute or good looking. I wasn’t attracted to them sexually; I didn’t even know what my penis was for then! Instead, I just found myself wanting to be their friend, to hang out together all the time. I was not the typical earthy guy, and some teachers approached me, talking about my effeminate behavior. I wasn’t even that effeminate then! Wait till they see me now. It was really hard for a 10 year old to hear his teacher tell him to act more manly.
In secondary school (13-16), it was more of the same but with the sexual element thrown in now that puberty hit. I remember reading in the school library, that some boys experience same sex attraction, that it might be a phase. The book read that in some people, these feelings don’t go away, and that these people are referred to as gay.
I read that, and my first thought was this, ‘Oh, well then it means I’m gay!’.
I took it surprisingly calmly. I came out to my best friend shortly after. He was upset and thought I was hitting on him. After he established that I had no feelings for him, he started understanding me better and asking questions. He was the first person I ever told. I was 14.
Even when I was 16, I had only told a handful of people. I remember keeping a note in my old phone then, of all the people I’d told. The number hovered somewhere around 15. I also dated my first boyfriend. I was 16, he was much older than me and later became stalkerish after I couldn’t handle the pressure of a relationship (come on, it was my first!). But I won’t delve into that – that’s a story for another day. Let’s just call him A.
It’s terrible, having to live with a secret like that. I was overwhelmed by my first relationship, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I told my best friend, his reply was “It’s a bad idea, you’ll end up getting hurt, you’ll see.” I was afraid to sleep over at my friends homes, too worried that I’d sleep talk. I was afraid of getting drunk and spilling my deepest darkest secret. I couldn’t risk anyone finding out – my life would be ruined!
In junior college (17/18), even though I’d been jerking off to homosexual content since puberty, I somehow still convinced myself I liked girls, especially after my first homosexual relationship turned out so awful, and tried to pursue a heterosexual relationship. Thank god it didn’t work out – else I’d still be lying to myself. I was chronically unhappy and depressed, and that’s no wonder. The stress from keeping my sexuality under wraps took a toll on my mental health.
I became a mean person, never letting anyone into my life. As soon as it looked like they were getting too close for comfort, close enough to get to know the real me, I’d shut them out and slam the door on them. I remember almost getting a panic attack when a teacher almost outed me in class as a joke.
I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t date again till I was 19. Two to three years was a long time for a blossoming gay kid to stay off the scene – it felt like forever.
Sometime in my first year of conscription (18/19), I finally dated again. I was still rather closeted. Only the same few people, plus a few, that knew of my sexuality before knew of my sexuality then. I felt like I was finally blossoming – dating real people my age and learning how to negotiate a romantic and sexual relationship, learning how to not be overly needy and neurotic, how to not check your partner’s last seen every 20 minutes.
Before I knew it, I was in my 4th relationship. After the much older A when I was 16, I’d had three more, B, C, and D, all around my age. D was wonderful; he was everything I wasn’t. Sporty, tanned, handsome, lean, tall. I fell in love. Our first date lasted a good 17 hours. We were inseparable. No matter how close we were physically to each other, it never felt like we were close enough. The anthem of the relationship was ‘Secret Love Song’ – I found old feelings coursing back – a relationship that I felt so passionate about but that I couldn’t’ tell anyone about. I spent almost every weekend with him (he was also a conscript), and I loved waking up to his face in the morning. I loved his scent on the sheets.
I decided to come out really soon. I drafted an email to my parents, something about them loving me more or loving their prejudices more, but ultimately didn’t send it.
Before I did, I took an audio recording of my parents telling me they’d love me, no matter what. If things got nasty, I’d just play it back at them.
I had to do it in person. An email wouldn’t’ have cut it. I knocked on my parents door one particularly sleepless night at 1am in the morning, and hemmed and hawed for a long while. I could sense them getting impatient, testy, and angry. Mum said, “Cut to the chase. You are making us very worried and anxious.”
So I did. “Mum, Dad,” I began, “I prefer the company of other men. I’m gay.” The words rang in the air for a long while.
“So?” I prompted.
“No.” muttered Mum resolutely. “You’re just trying to be different.”
“You’ve seen the signs your whole life!” I retorted, my face turning hot from my mum’s weak and insulting counter. I turned to Dad. “Dad?!” I prompted.
Dad’s face was flushed. He was trying his darnedest best to stay calm. “You know,” he began, “the Chinese have a saying, that it’s better to have a murderer as a son than it is to have a homosexual.” (I’m pretty sure he made that one up, by the way….)
I played back the audio to them.
“Dad?”
“Yes, son?”
“Will you love me no matter what?”
“Of course! Just don’t do stuff like murdering people, running around naked, of course I’d love you always” (this was his version of a dad joke)
~hearty dad laugh~
“Thanks dad, I love you too.”
“Mum?”
“Yes?”
“Will you love me no matter what?”
“Well, I will always love you as my son, but I have certain expectations of you.”
“Will you love me no matter what?”
“Yes.”
In hindsight, I think Mum was woke. She suspected long before I told her, which was exactly what I intended. Parents take it better if they’ve suspected for a while.
Still, she didn’t take it well. “Mum?” I asked. She was just staring into blank space, seemingly in shock.
I reached out to put my hand on her thigh. “Mum?” I gently said as I put my hand on her thigh.
As soon as I touched her, she recoiled. “Don’t touch me!”
“Dad, Mom, it’s a lot to take – I’ll go to bed first and let it sink in – let’s talk about this tomorrow.”
I didn’t sleep a wink that night, and I had to change my pillowcase the next day – it was soaked with tears.
The next day, Mum was avoiding me, Dad was avoiding me, but things were definitely better. I arranged for a psychologist to see them and to counsel them. The counselling kept up for very many sessions, and before I knew it, things were looking up, and soon it became an uneasy alliance. They knew their son was gay, they weren’t supportive of it, they secretly harbored hopes for me turning straight, but knew the likelihood was low.
Over time, it got much better. Mum was less supportive than Dad, but still supportive. She finally understood that me being gay didn’t change anything about me, but Dad was really the one that impressed me. He tried really hard and he made so many concessions for me.
For example, I’m very careful to use gender neutral pronouns (‘this person’, instead of ‘him’ or ‘her’). We were on holiday when I told Dad that someone else (neutral pronoun) liked me, and Dad was like, “Oh, just tell him you’re not interested”, really casually, using the male pronoun. Dad was trying so hard, and it’s really amazing what love can do.
I broke up with D, my parents were happy about that – they didn’t like Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome.
Then, got another boyfriend, let’s call him E, who was a Law student. My mum liked him, asked him for legal advice, etc. He’d join us at the family dinner table and join in family conversation – I think that really normalized a gay relationship for my parents. We broke up eventually.
With my current boyfriend, let’s call him F, Mum and Dad are supportive as hell. He’s an old family friend, so I had to tread carefully. Before we went steady, I wanted the blessings of mum and dad. Not just tolerance from them, or approval, but I wanted their blessings.
Dad gave me his categorical blessings. Mum didn’t. She said she doesn’t object, but she can’t in good faith give her blessings.
I went ahead, and we are now exclusive boyfriends.
Just half a year ago, when F was over at my place, I was talking to F about home décor in the presence of Mum. Mum, cheekily trying to take a dig at me, said, “F, next time maybe you want to leave your home unfurnished, since he leaves his (referring to me) stuff around everywhere anyway”.
Mum had given her blessings, by internalizing that F and I would be staying together, and that she was okay with it!
Over the course of our relationship, it really became apparent that Mum had come around. She started putting food on F’s plate with her chopsticks during dinner time, a privilege Mum previously only reserved for me and me only.
Four years to date of having come out, having cast the old me, all the angst and unhappiness aside, being unashamed and proud of my sexuality at home and outside, having a confidence and ease I never suspected I could possess, having grown from many relationships. This journey has been amazing. From a closeted teen to a proudly out gay man with plenty of gay friends that’s well balanced and well adjusted, it’s been really phenomenal. People gravitate to me, because I’m just so at home with myself, and I’ve learnt that that’s a really attractive trait. I could only have done it if I were out.
After F joining my family for so many birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations, barbecues, parties, I decided that I wanted him to be a part of it. I proposed to F at the start of this year, on the 1st of January 2019.
He said yes.
Though, I’ll admit, in a conservative Asian family, it’s tough introducing F to my extended family, many of whom are Christian or Catholic, but once everyone knew that I was throwing my weight behind F, no one from my extended family dared to fuck with him or to be homophobic towards us openly. I guess the meanness I had from adolescence is now gone, but my mean reputation amongst my extended family remains, for better or for worse! They have little bearing on how I lead my life, and I think they know that too, so no one really bothers me about it.
I hold hands with F in public, we lean on each other on the MRT (Singapore’s metro/subway), go on cheesy dates, and not once have we been accosted by the people around us. Part of growing up and coming out was learning that no one really cares about your sexual orientation or what sexual organs you prefer on your partner. The people who are vocal are the minority, and the majority don’t really give a fuck.
P.S.: Writing this was really hard, it brought back really bad memories, but it got better towards the end as I reached a happy ending and a new beginning. I wrote this in one sitting, so the organization, writing etc. might be sloppy. Feel free to AMA if you want to know more about certain parts of my journey, etc.
submitted by maythesixteenth to gaybros [link] [comments]


2018.12.17 06:17 ToR_archivist Nicegirls Image "This is definitely #truelove <3333"

Nicegirls Image submitted by ToR_archivist to ToR_Archive [link] [comments]


2018.11.19 13:13 Frenchkiss247 TRUE LOVE- Is it Blind? Should it Be Blind?

TRUELOVE - Is It Blind? Should It Be Blind?

From the sentimental point of view, one might say yes. True love is blind. But commonsensically, true love does not necessarily have to be blind.
Love itself has to do with sentiments - feelings based on emotions. If one claims to love someone or something, one has automatically declared his sentiments for that thing or that person and will therefore react and relate towards it/him/her accordingly. But because when true love is blind it can be more destructive than productive, it is commonsensically unadvisable. This does not in anyway take anything away from the fact that true love being blind implies that it's unconditional and anything short of it may arguably be said not to be true love.
In summary true love by simple definition is blind but doesn't necessarily have to be. It can be blind but not reckless nor careless (as is characteristic of people who are literally blind). Nothing beats true love mixed with a good dose of commonsense. One must therefore learn to be...
SOURCE https://francisamie.blogspot.com/2018/10/is-true-love-blind-should-it-be-blind.html
submitted by Frenchkiss247 to romance [link] [comments]


2018.06.08 17:30 ThatChrisFella Favourite lgbt movies?

Just watched Love, Simon and thought it was great. Definitely reminded me of highschool.
On the bi subject though, has anyone seen Alex Truelove? Watching it now, seems okay so far. No spoilers please.
Recommend us all some good lgbt (or specifically bi orientated if you want) films!
Edit: I guess I should have mentioned that Perks of being a wallflower is definitely one of my favourites of all time. Not so much an LGBT movie, but it still sort of is.
submitted by ThatChrisFella to bisexual [link] [comments]


2018.05.28 14:21 Elementaryfan Modern, possibly still active serial killers, part 3: Benjamin Tony Atkins & Detroit Ripper [two different Detroit serial killers]

Just a clarification: I posted this back on Saturday, but the thread got removed due to being posted along with four others within two hours, so I am reposting it today.
Benjamin Tony Atkins raped and murdered eleven women in Detroit, Michigan, from December 1991 to August 1992. Though he is definitely no longer active, and one could argue that he is not really a "modern" serial killer, the murders having taken place over two decades ago, his case is still chilling and strangely underreported.
Atkins amassed the greatest number of victims in such a period of time in the United States, according to FBI investigators. All the victims were found in vacant buildings, and they all had been raped and strangled. Most of them had been murdered in Highland Park; a part of the city notorious for drugs, gang violence and prostitution. Many of the victims were working as prostitutes, and Atkins said he was motivated by a hatred of prostitution. During his trial, it was revealed that Atkins himself was raped at age 10, and had witnessed his mother engage in prostitution.
At first, the murders of high-risk victims in a high-risk environment attracted little police and media attention. But, as the bodies started to mount, a task force of the investigators from Highland Park, Detroit, Michigan State Police and the FBI was assembled. They increased police surveillance in the area, canvassed the neighbirhoods, talked to the prostitutes and homeless people frequently present in the area. The coalition underscored the urgency of the manhunt, given the frequently bitter relations between the Detroit city administration and the FBI.
As it turned out, one of the prostitutes had been beaten and raped by Atkins, but she managed to escape before he could kill her. She initially didn't report the incident, but when the detectives questioned her (along with the other prostitutes active in the area) she came forward. She described her attacker, and said she only knew him only as Tony; Benjamin Atkins' middle name. Atkins was a homeless crack addict, already known to the authorities. Detectives checked their database and soon learned of Benjamin Tony Atkins, who had a prior criminal record, lived in the area, and matched the description.
Atkins was soon taken into custody and interrogated. The surviving victim identified him as her attacker. At first, Atkins denied any involvement the murders. But detective Sgt. Ronald Sanders, scheduled to leave on vacation in an hour, was watching the interrogation. He eventually asked for a shot at Atkins.
"You never had a father," Sanders told him. "I have a son exactly your age. You need to get this off your chest. Talk to me."
And Atkins did. Working his way through five cheeseburgers (!), Atkins confessed to the murders, including one victim that he had hidden in a secret basement beneath a vacant garage.
"I killed all 11 of them so I didn't have to worry about them pressing charges," Benjamin Atkins told investigators Aug. 21, 1992, according to the Detroit Free Press.
The Free Press reported that Atkins also described the killing of Juanita Harvey, 23, whose body was found in an abandoned motel.
"I never really planned to kill her," Atkins said, according to the newspaper. "After raping her, having sex and hating her for a being a woman, I had the desire to kill her for being a woman. I just wanted to hate her and cause her harm."
The newspaper said Atkins also told investigators how he killed his third victim, Patricia George, 36, in December 1991. He said they had smoked crack together in an abandoned building and he became enraged, choked her and raped her when she tried to leave, the Free Press said.
The woman's body was found Jan. 3 1992, when the building was being demolished.
Forensics later linked Atkins' fingerprints and DNA to the ones found on the crime scenes and the victims.
Atkins was reportedly homosexual; rape was his way of degrading and abusing his victims in the worst possible way before killing them, as well as establishing control and dominance over them. The murder was a final act of control and violence, as well as a means of eliminating witnesses. His main motive seemed to be hatred of prostitutes and possibly women in general, caused by his mother's actions. One of the cases that supports the theory that rape is mainly about power, control and violence, not lust or sex.
Atkins was found guilty of all counts, and given eleven consecutive life sentences. On September 17th 1997, at the age of twenty nine, Benjamin Tony Atkins died of an infection caused by HIV, at Duane Waters Hospital (connected with Egeler Correctional Facility in Jackson).
"While no one takes joy in another's death -- even one who has committed such hideous crimes -at least those who lost loved ones at Mr. Atkins ' hands can take comfort in knowing he will never be released back into society," said Michael Reynolds, who prosecuted Atkins in a fourmonth Detroit Recorder's Court trial.
Benjamin Tony Atkins' victims
• Darlene Saunders, 34, attacked, raped, and sodomized in October 1991 in Highland Park.
• Debbie Ann Friday, 30, found raped, strangled, and sodomized on December 14, 1991 in Highland Park.
• Bertha Jean Mason, 26, found strangled, raped, and sodomized on December 30, 1991 in Detroit.
• Patricia Cannon George, 36, found strangled, raped, and sodomized on January 3, 1992 in Detroit.
• Vickie Truelove, 39, found sodomized, strangled, and raped, on January 25, 1992 in Detroit.
• Valerie Chalk, 34, found repeatedly sodomized, raped, and strangled, on February 17, 1992 at Monterey Motel, Room 68, Highland Park.
• Juanita Hardy, 23, found raped and strangled at Monterey Motel, Room 35, February 17, 1992.
• Jane Doe, found raped and strangled at Monterey Motel, Room 18, February 17, 1992.
• Brenda Mitchell, 28, found raped and strangled on April 9, 1992 in Highland Park.
• Vicki Beasley-Brown, 27, found raped and strangled on April 15, 1992 in Highland Park.
• Joanne O'Rourke, 45, found repeatedly raped, strangled on June 15, 1992 in Highland Park.
• Ocinena Waymer, 21, found beaten, raped, sodomized, and strangled on August 21, 1992 in Highland Park.
• LaTanya Showanda Smith, 29, found beaten on August 21, 1992 in Highland Park.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Atkins
http://murderpedia.org/male.A/a/atkins-benjamin.htm
But the story of modern Detroit serial killers doesn't end there.
This, too, is important but underreported news. It has only been covered in some local Detroit newspapers and radio stadions; I've learned of it from locals of Detroit that I know and correspond with, who also showed me two of the articles.
It all started over two weeks ago, on May 11th 2018. Early in the morning, two dead bodies were found in North Corktown (Briggs) area, in two different dumpsters, about fifteen miles apart, by waste collectors. Both victims were reportedly African American women, stabbed to death.
Recently (a few days ago), new information has been released, though without gaining much additional coverage. (Detroit, sadly, has a high crime rate, murder rate included, and some murders slip through the cracks, press-wise... and otherwise, especially when it comes to high-risk victims. Plus, Briggs, too, is a pretty bad neighborhood.)
According to the coroner's findings, the first victim was murdered about three weeks before her body was found; the body must have originally been dumped somewhere else before the killer moved it to the dumpster. The second victim was murdered about three to five days before her body was found.
Yes, both victims were young African-American women, stabbed to death. In both cases, their wrists were tightly bind with a piece of rope. The coroner also noted multiple bruises over their face, chest and arms, as well as multiple rib and facial fractures, all sustained shortly prior to their death. The autopsy also revealed recent vaginal tearing on both victims, as well as fresh bruises on their legs and inner thighs. The rape kit reportedly recovered no semen, but traces of spermicide, commonly applied to condoms, and K-Y Jelly, commonly used as lubricant, were found in both cases. In conclusion: both victims had been tied up, brutally beaten, raped, and then stabbed to death.
Both victims were found completely nude, covered with trash [probably both a forensic countermeasure and a way to degrade the victims even further, even in death]; no clothing, IDs or personal items were found inside the dumpsters or around them. But both victims have been identified via fingerprints. The first victim was twenty two years old Shanna Morgan. The second victim was twenty eight years old Cheyenne Jones. Reportedly, they were both high-risk victims, with a criminal record for prostitution, theft, burglary, public intoxication, resisting arrest, and assault. Nobody reported them missing.
It all seems consistent with a serial killer (or at least a budding serial killer) theory: matching victim type and M.O., matching body disposal method, the cooling off period between the murders (albeit a relatively short one), even, arguably, the number of victims (two or more, according to the new FBI definition).
So far, the investigation doesn't appear promising. No leads or strong suspects yet; at least, none have been revealed to the press. The perpetrator reportedly used a condom during both rapes, and since he left both victims in a dumpster and covered them with trash, most of the other forensic evidence has likely been contaminated; and those locations were almost certainly secondary crime scenes in the first place. Both bodies were dumped in isolated alleyways in a crime ridden neighborhood; there aren't many security cameras on or close to such locations, and few that can be found there are usually poor quality. Both Shanna Morgan and Cheyene Johnson were high-risk victims living in a high-risk environment; the killer would have had little trouble encountering them and getting a drop on them. Little to no media attention so far. Detectives are currently looking into registered sex offenders and recently released convicts living in the area, and they've increased police surveillance in the neighborhood.
If the killer "keeps up" with the current cooling-off period, he may kill again soon. Two weeks have passed already.
Detroit's high crime rate (especially murder rate; second highest in the USA, right after East St. Louis, Illinois), is an interesting, complex, and sad problem/topic on its own. There are no easy answers or solutions, but this is a good start, at least when it comes to understanding it:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decline_of_Detroit
https://www.reddit.com/explainlikeimfive/comments/1r6f8w/eli5_americans_what_exactly_happened_to_detroit_i/
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RjMXFOMhbeQ
With all that being said, I believe there is still hope that things will improve eventually, as naive as that may sound. There are still many good people. There are always good and bad times. There are always possibilities for progress. And even if hope is all you have left, it is still something. As a wise man once said: "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles."
Any questions? Comments? Theories? Feel free to discuss.
submitted by Elementaryfan to serialkillers [link] [comments]


2016.11.29 13:31 broinlawsucks test

My sister (we'll call Louise [38 F]) and her husband (we'll call Charles [40 M]) started dating roughly 5 or 6 years ago. In the beginning, Charles was great. Attentive, funny, generous, and doted on Louise. He had a great job, liked sports, liked music, social, movie buff, family oriented. Likeable. They moved particularly fast, as I believe the engagement was 6 months, and the wedding was a year after that. It all felt very right at the time.
Charles' mother (we'll call Martha [75 F]) moved to our city and into Louise and Charles' 2 bedroom apartment with them. Charles was most definitely a mama's boy and they were VERY close. Martha was really fun to talk to and we welcomed her into our family and we all did family dinner weekly. We noted some character quirks where mother and son were both pretty negative all the time. Martha always had fun stories, but she also played the victim A LOT in her stories. Charles constantly ranted about his job, the neighbours, anything. It would become more frequent and annoying. Charles HATED every job and switched jobs a couple of times a year. He ranted about how this one didn't give him anything to do so he was bored, and this one the employee is pissing him off, etc. etc. These were all great jobs where he was making nearly 100K each time. Classic, "if everywhere you go it's all negative, maybe it's you?".
Charles also started eating healthy and going to the gym, but was becoming snobby about it. Honestly, myself [27 F] and my spouse [32 M] are extremely overweight, and he started indirectly saying things to make us feel shitty about ourselves. He would bug our brother [36 M] for gaining holiday weight when he is a healthy size (it happened often and it felt like a jab at myself and my spouse). Charles would do sit ups in the living room while we hung out, and would announce "We went to the gym today!". We could tell it was snidely directed at my spouse and I for our lifestyle. This was solidified whenever I would diet and go to the gym with Charles and Louise (and I didn't enjoy going to the gym with my brother-in-law) he would suddenly be super sweet to me and we got on nicely. I even remember falling off my diet and my first thoughts were "oh no, now Charles is going to hate me again".
I even noticed my sister's personality become more negative. Probably not surprising, but she just didn't hang out with me as much, and if I ever mentioned a TV show she should try or something she flat out said she would hate it and wasn't interested. For a while I did feel a little sad that I lost my closeness with my sister, but I shrugged it off as us having our spouses and that's how life worked.
Eventually Charles and Louise wed and, with Martha, found a house together where Martha had her own suite downstairs. Now, the thing is Louise NEVER wanted to live with Martha. While Martha was a nice lady, she was uppity and constantly wanted attention or needed a ride somewhere because she didn't have a license in this country. Louise suggested they get 2 different apartments from each other, but I guess the idea of a nice house (and because Charles just LOVED being close to mommy), they stuck with the house. Louise said she was planning on discussing this at some point with Charles, but she sort of felt like she was walking on egg-shells when it came to discussing mom because it was clear that mom was #1. So, they lived in this house together for a year. Things were pretty status-quo.
Then, shit hit the fan. Something I didn't mention about Martha was that, while she was 75, you would be shocked to know it. She easily seemed 15 years younger, took care of herself and was a bit of a health freak. She seemed like he would go through her 90's with ease. But out of nowhere, she got cancer. As I remember, she refused chemo and told my brother in private she would rather go on her own terms. She passed away within days.
Before Charles' mom fell ill, himself and Louise met a lady we'll call Kate [late 30's? F]. Charles texted Kate innocently, but when his mom fell ill he immediately used Kate as an escape and the texts became more flirty. After his mothers death Charles slowly went deeper into depression and pushed his wife away. Himself and Kate admitted via text that they wanted one another, and so he told Louise about his emotional affair. He then reported back to Kate that he told his wife everything, and she... asked him to never contact her again and booked it out of his life. Apparently she's done something similar to another couple? Or so I've heard. Louise, instead of retreating from him, stayed by his side and wanted to work on things. She understood losing his mom was a lot, that he was depressed and used texting Kate as an escape. But he was a ball of negative energy that lashed out if his wife tried to help or talked about therapy. He would tell anyone who would listen about how much he adored Kate. All of his friends told him to snap out of it, and instead he pushed all those friends away. Eventually Louise moved out of their home, and she sees a good therapist weekly, but she just won't give up on him and she won't move on despite his refusing to try or see a therapist. He used to threaten to take his own life, tweeted about Kate and emo type posts CONSTANTLY like a tween (he was the farthest imaginable from that sort of personality before), and now changes his job every few months. It has been TWO years now, and he lives on his own in their house and mopes about how life is unfair to him. To this day his social media, while a lot more normal, still has an emo post or... more scarily, a post about Kate every once in a while.
This is the REAL gem guys. He has a "cute nickname" for Kate. Let's call the nickname Bunny. Just to reiterate, Kate hasn't been around for almost two years, yet he STILL posts shit about her every couple of weeks. He reposts images of inspirational quotes about being lovesick or true love (think pink, and hearts, and photos of Ryan Reynolds). #bunny #noregrets #truelove. He just flat out writes a paragraph about how he lost the love of his life (#bunny) and he will never give up. HE HAS BOUGHT HER GIFTS AND POSTED PHOTOS OF THE GIFTS ON INSTAGRAM. He is absolutely off his rocker. And while it hurts Louise a TON, the fact that he is off her rocker is what gives her hope. He is sick. He needs help. He needs therapy and meds. And she is just hoping one day he will get the help he needs and will become the man she married (even though I've said I don't think he was THAT great before, and that it was the honeymoon phase).
It has now been a total of TWO years. Louise still lives at our parents home, visits him every so often and has tried numerous attempts to get through to him or get him to go to therapy. It is a back and forth cycle on a week to week basis where he pushes her away and she comes to me in tears saying she needs to end this, he ropes her back in by talking to her again before yet again pushing her away. I see it as a tactic to keep her at arms length for his own selfish reasons of wanting her support or something. I think his apologies and "you deserve better than me" is all part of his bullshit tactic.
I warn her not to fall into the trap. When she comes to me saying "He's talking. We went out and it was nice." with her glimmer of hope, I point out how this is a cycle and to not fall into the cylce, but she ignores it or defends her glimmer of hope. I ask her how many more years she's going to sink into this dead end relationship, but she ignores that question too. Then when he stops communication, pushes, etc. she comes back to me upset saying this needs to end. She listens to me saying she needs to end this and move on. She says I'm so smart and I'm right and things are okay for a bit. But I guess he senses her trying to move on, and he lures her back in with hope and communication again.
As she works harder to end the relationship, he seems to up his game. His tactics have gone from just responding to her or chit chatting via text, to messaging her first, mentioning movies/restaurants he wanted to try (putting her in the position to ask him out), and more recently being the one to ask her out or discussing "their relationship". 6 months ago he was responding well and she made the move to suggest she move in again for a while and he agreed. I told her straight up "That's not going to happen. He's just once again saying whatever he can to keep you at arms length". Then I asked her to not bring it up again and see if he would actually bring up the subject since they actually hashed out which day she would move back in. Nothing came of it. Radio silence from his end.
Now between his luring her in, she has worked towards a divorce. His communicating with her has slowed the process to glacier's speed, but during the past 6 months or so she had made strides. She worked with a lawyer and asked him to do his part of the paperwork. He didn't bother, so she was doing things for his end too I believe. He finally had enough of being asked to do paperwork and just settled on a lump sum. She talked to her lawyer about the lump sum, but of course out of nowhere he's "talking" again. He's asking her out. He wants to discuss the relationship. He actually says "I've never really given up on us" which I think is a total slap in the face. He's asked her to move in. He's also posted about #bunny several times within the last 3 weeks while "wanting to work on their relationship". A while back he started a side job that he named Bunny Co. Within the last week he has started a blog about cars... using his nickname for her as part of the title. (Let's go with something like, Bunny Cars Blog).
Yet again, I call bullshit. I said so 3 weeks ago, and they still haven't had the talk to hash out the details and talk about going to therapy. She promised me that's happening this weekend, and I still call bullshit. I foresee him yet again using his usual excuses of "I need to adjust to my [hundredth] new job" or whatever lines he says.
I am seeking advice for Louise and advice for me. I was honestly patient in the beginning, but this has gone on for WAY too long and it is doomed. Louise is seeing a therapist I recommended and like. But her therapist can only guide her, and I wonder if she's even giving her therapist the whole picture. For example, I don't think her therapist knows about the social media posts.
What could I say or do to make her realize this isn't going to end well and that she has waisted enough years waiting for him to change. How can I convince her that his actions are inexcusable, or that he is actually doing this out of selfishness and while he is obviously deranged enough to make these terrible posts for the world to see, he is not sick enough to not know what he is doing. I mean, I have said this, but she just defends the situation. Not defending him. But her latest argument is that she says that she feels he is changing and making an effort and she wants to get him into therapy to see this through. She says she sees everything I see, and that she promises she isn't going to be with him unless he makes huge strides and goes to therapy. But that she still loves him and enjoys his company and he's sweet and allowing himself to be vulnerable with her. She never imagined letting herself stay in a situation like this, but she wants to help him get better. She claims there is a time limit, although I still have yet to hear of one. I wonder how much she wants to be with him, or how much she may fear starting at square one at the age of 40.
But this is all said while he's "trying". The moment he pushes she falls apart and I am there to pick up the pieces and talk her through it. She agrees and she wants out of the situation. She had been making strides that past 6 months. Working with her lawyer, talking about finding another partner in life, etc. She stopped saying she missed him, and only mentioned missing their dog. Things were going so well, and then BAM he's pulled her in again. I wish I could say something that she doesn't just agree with in the moment. Something that REALLY STICKS. I'm thinking of going to a therapy session with her.
At the same time, I need advice for me. Should I keep picking up the pieces? I feel like I've warned her weekly that he's hurting her and then the next week she's a sad mess and I pick up the pieces. Part of me just wants to shrug and say, "it's been 2 years of the same damn thing. What do you want me to say?". Lately I've been wanting to let her know if they do miraculously get back together, this family is having nothing to do with him. Something else I forgot to mention was that after his mom's death I found out that Charles and his mom both hated my husband because we are overweight. They decided he should have sort of "manned up" and gotten us onto a healthier lifestyle and so they decided to hate the man I love, whom I can't even express how warm hearted and truly amazing he is. It brings me to tears. So another part of me wants to say something like "he decided to hate my husband (and probably me by extension) for my weight and food problems, so by that logic I can despise him no matter his depression. We are a VERY close family, so in reality if the did get back together and if we don't welcome him? I just don't see that working very well. But I don't want to be cruel, and I really don't want her to stop communicating with me. Also, I am the ONLY person who knows about about his emotional affair. My parents already hate him to no end. Knowing about the emotional affair would cause a HUGE shit storm. But it's weighing on my shoulders. I log on and see these things posted and it's so sad.
What should I say? What should I do?
TLDR: My sister's (Louise) husband (Charles) was a witty, giving, and all around cool person who DOTED on her. He was pretty negative though - complaining about his job and ppl a lot. He could be a bit dickish, not terrible, but a flaw for sure. He was a huge mama's boy and he had mom move in. Suddenly mom dies tragically. Bro-in-law goes into deep depression and has an emotional affair on an acquaintance (Kate) via texting. He gives her a petname and they profess their love to one another. Charles tells Louise about emo-affair and then Kate runs away, never to be seen again. Charles posts social media pics about wanting to die, and being in love with Kate. Louise moves into our parents house and tries to work on fixing their relationship and goes to therapy. It's been 2 years of her trying and him breaking her heart, then she tries to move on and he lures her in by talking to her or going on a date, and then pushes her away again. Again and again, like bi-weekly. To this day he still posts a random social media post about how he's in love with Kate, how she's the love of his life, and how he regrets nothing. He's even named a side business and a car blog named after his petname for Kate. Despite all the heart-breaks (and working with a lawyer towards divorce, albeit at a glacier speed with his luring her in all the time), she isn't giving up on trying to help him and hasn't given up on their relationship. I would like advice I can tell her to help her give up on this selfishly impossible man and time suck. I would also like advice on if I should be more tough, or but out, or go to a therapy session with her. Am I somehow enabling her? But I can't just stop being there for my sister whom I love. I'm hurting for her and I want to see her stand up for herself.
submitted by broinlawsucks to test [link] [comments]


2016.08.24 21:36 PotentialMC Aug 24 21:30 UTC NA - PotentialMC's #7 - FFA - Truelove, Rush, InfiniteEnchanter, TripleOres

PotentialMC

**Server IP: Node36.Minecrafted.net:25876
Version: ** 1.8.X**
Whitelist off: time in title
Whitelist on: 5 minutes after or when full.
Game start: hopefully.
Meetup: 45 minutes in.
Player Slots: 70.
Gamemode/Scenario:
Scenario's Definitions
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: ON - Not Exessively.
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in random team games
  • Absorption: on
  • **Apple rates: 5%,
  • Flint rates: Always 50%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.disconneteduhc.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.
IP: uhc.gg
Server Information:
Location: Montreal, Canada
RAM: 4 GB
Provider: Minecrafted
created using the Match Calendar
submitted by PotentialMC to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2016.08.04 03:21 IceChimp Aug 04 03:30 UTC NA - Igloo #235 - FFA Truelove - Cutclean, Gonefishing, Doubleores

Server Info & Important Links:
Staff Playing:
Name Rank
IceWolfofalaska Host
Specs Watching:
Name Rank
Scenario Explanation:
Scenario Explained
GoneFishin' You fish and stuff
Cutclean You definitely know what this is
Doubleores Double your stuff
Truelove 1 ally, if they die, you can team with any other player in the game.
Match Information:
Name Info
IP 167.114.117.147:25569
Version 1.8.x (screw 1.7 :p)
Whitelist Off Look at post
Whitelist On Whitelist will normally go on 3 minutes after, No whitelists after that
Game Start 03:35 Hopefully
Time until PvP 15 mins in
Time until Meetup 75 mins in
Perma At meetup
iPvP I'll banana you
Stalking Only if it is your uncle No!
Stealing Not excessively Sure!
Player Slots 500
Nether Off
Camping N/A
Trapping N/A
Absorption No
Gheads Yes
Apple Rates 75%
Flint Rates 75%
Apples From Shears Yes
Squid Drop Clownfish
Tier 2 Potions Nope
Horses On
Game Size 2000x2000
Stackable Gheads Off
Winner [Name] [Kills]
submitted by IceChimp to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2016.04.09 06:13 corn_desert what do you do when you're in your 40's and already screwed up more than your fair share of chances?

so there you go. The subject really tells the "meat and potatoes" of the story, the rest is just the green bean casserole and the side salad. If you like that kind of thing, keep reading. Otherwise I wish you the best and hope you have a great Friday night.
Right up front, from the very centre of me, "Sorry." One: this is going to be a bit of a bit long, sorry. Two: yes, I'm definitely under the influence of more than one substance at this moment, so sorry. Three: this is going to be one of those nasty, slobbering, pathetic, me as the "centre of the whole wide world" kind of things, again, sorry.
You've been warned, I've been appropriately lubricated, it's Friday night, so why the hell not. If you're still reading after all of that BS build-up, here we go.
I've never been an kind of saint. I can't even say I was that good of a person. Been pretty selfish most of my life if I had to be honest about it. Has some potential, even made some good money even if I did piss most of it away. I've lived hard, bragged, drank, fought, hurt people, loved people, been almost married a couple of times, been a good friend in good times and bad, been a bad friend at times, too. But even with all of that, I keep coming back to that "one", that single "one" that I never really seemed to recover from.
I miss her. I do. But it's a fictionalized and romanticized version of her at this point.
It's been more than a decade since that night, that fight, that sentence, that (almost) single word. In hind sight, because I now believe that she was being defensive rather than being offensive, it's so much harder to take. Had it just been something mean in a moment of anger, in the heat of a fight, it would have been hurtful at THAT one moment. But it wasn't mean, she was being honest, and it was something that really bothered her.
She was the very first woman where I understood what it was to be in love. Love even with all of her imperfections, even with all of her past mistakes and accompanying baggage. Hell. Probably because of them, because they made her, well, her. I truly loved her with open eyes and an open heart. I was ready to, and did, leave all of the crazed debauchery of my life behind me.
With all the ups and downs, with all that she was, and all that I was, I found out what "love" really was for the very first time. She was the first, last, and only person that I have ever been completely vulnerable with.
But then, that night happened. And I understood, finally, that the woman that I loved more than life itself, was hurt by something that I could not change.
Yes, I'm a coward. Because of that simple realization, I bail on that very imperfect woman more than a decade ago. She was deeply flawed, had a long history, but I love her and she loved me. Our time together showed me how the love of (and for) another person can make you do thing, and be things, that you never though were even possible.
That moment has coloured every single relationship I've had since then. I can't bring myself to be vulnerable with anyone, not the string of woman since, even the ones that really and truelove loved me, not my mother and father, not even my very best friend who I would happily lay my life down for and know he would do the same for me.
I can't let go of something that I should have killed myself trying to work though more than a decade ago, but I didn't. Would it have worked out? Honestly? Probably not, but that really doesn't matter.
Because of my cowardice not only in that situation but to my core, I can't bring myself to be vulnerable, truly and completely open, to any person since.
A decade of trying to deaden that self-awareness with way too much booze, with predictable ( and mildly pathetic ) middle aged drug experimentation, with woman willing to do one night stands with a man like me, and with a couple of truly good woman that I hurt badly because I just couldn't...
Yes, I'm lonely.
Yes, I'm lonely and I understand why.
Yes, I'm lonely and I understand why. I'm lonely because I haven’t allowed anyone close enough to hurt me in over a decade.
The next 40 years is going to be really long unless something change. Wish me luck, internet.
Good night from Indiana.
submitted by corn_desert to lonely [link] [comments]


2016.03.01 23:08 JustTheKiller Mar 1 23:00 UTC NA - TreeSixty's #4 - FFA - Truelove

TreeSixty's #4

Tree60's #4-
Server IP: east.disconnectedmc.us
Join: west.disconnectedmc.us if you are late and want to play Open PvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X [1.7 Recommended]
Whitelist off: 23:00
Whitelist on: 23:03 or when full
Game start: 23:05 hopefully
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario: FFA - Truelove
Scenario's Definitions
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: ON - POTS OFF - NERFS ON - NO CAMPING - NO TRAPPING
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: disconnecteduhc.ts3.mejorserver.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Server Information:
Location: Montreal, Canada
RAM: 5 GB
Provider: PerfectionHosting
Links:
All the things for donor on the website are for private games, not Reddit.
submitted by JustTheKiller to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2016.02.03 22:44 DragonTheDino Feb 03 22:15 UTC NA - Dragon's #4 - FFA - CutClean, Truelove

Disconnected UHC

Dragon's #4-
Server IP: east.disconnecteduhc.com
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X [1.7 Recommended]
Whitelist off: 22:15
Whitelist on: 22:17 or when full
Game start: 22:20 hopefully
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario:
Scenario's Definitions - Cutclean is when all ores that need to be smelted are automaticly smelted

- Truelove is were you team up with anyone Note This is not to2 its just you got a teamate and you can re team if the teammate dies

Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: disconnecteduhc.ts.mejorserver.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Server Information: Location: Montreal, Canada RAM: 5 GB Provider: PerfectionHosting
Links:
All the things for donor on the website are for private games, not Reddit.
submitted by DragonTheDino to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.12.13 02:11 AaronWithAQ Dec 13 1:45 UTC NA - Aqron's #17 - FFA - Vanilla - Truelove

Disconnected UHC Aqrons' #17-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com Join: west.disconnecteduhc.com if you are late and want to play Open PvP Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 1:40
Whitelist on: 1:45 or when full Game start: 1:50 Game length: 60 mins + Meetup Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario: Scenario's Definitions: Truelove: You can have 1 teammate, but we don't set teams, you have to find them, you will be scattered as if its a FFA, and your teammate can kill you, but you guys can also win together. (Sort of like FFA with an Ally, but you both can win.) Solos allowed. If your teammate dies you can team with another person.
Rules: Rollercoastering:
ON Pokeholes:
Off Stealing:
Off Stalking:
OFF Stripmining: On but cannot stripmine below y level 40.
TS3 & Working Mic: Not Required Absorption: on Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
Flint rates: Always 75%
Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it! IP: ts.schorchhcf.com If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server. IP: uhc.gg
submitted by AaronWithAQ to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.12.10 23:36 AaronWithAQ Dec 10 23:15 UTC NA - Aqron's #16 - FFA - Vanilla

https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2str6u/jan_18_1300_utc_eu_beachiepvps_16_to2_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2stup2/jan_18_1415_utc_us_beachiepvps_17_ffa_vanilla/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dom14/jul_18_1215_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_1_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3drexp/jul_18_1930_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_3_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3duxeu/jul_19_1945_utc_na_fatalityuhcs4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dqf9i/july_18_1400_utc_na_fatalityuhc_2_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2yal6o/mar_08_1300_utc_us_midnights_4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2xs3sv/mar_03_2015_utc_eu_saltyuhc_1_vanilla_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2ycfyh/mar_08_1815_utc_us_rewindfates_8_rto6_moles_no/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2y1ck0/mar_05_1915_utc_us_midnights_3_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x8fkf/feb_26_1445_utc_us_midnights_2_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x858f/feb_26_1315_utc_us_midnights_1_ffa_truelove/ ) Proof of games

Disconnected UHC

Aqrons' #16-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com
Join: west.disconnecteduhc.com if you are late and want to play Open PvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 23:10
Whitelist on: 23:15 or when full
Game start: 23:20
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario:
Scenario's Definitions Not hosting just some scenarios I host. - Barebones: You get a diamond every kill, goldenapple, 2 string, 32 arrows can't mine diamonds or gold - CutClean: Don't need to smelt ores, food, anything - Genie: Everytime you get a kill you have a chance to grant a wish - BestPvE: Every 10 minutes if you don't take damage you get an extra heart
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: Off
  • Stealing: Off
  • Stalking: OFF
  • Stripmining: On but cannot stripmine below y level 40.
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.schorchhcf.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Links:

All the things for donor on the website are for private games, not Reddit.
Server info: 5 Gigabytes hosted in Montreal, Canada
submitted by AaronWithAQ to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.12.08 21:28 AaronWithAQ Dec 08 21:00 UTC NA - Aqron's #15 - FFA -Barebones, Genie, Truelove

https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2str6u/jan_18_1300_utc_eu_beachiepvps_16_to2_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2stup2/jan_18_1415_utc_us_beachiepvps_17_ffa_vanilla/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dom14/jul_18_1215_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_1_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3drexp/jul_18_1930_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_3_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3duxeu/jul_19_1945_utc_na_fatalityuhcs4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dqf9i/july_18_1400_utc_na_fatalityuhc_2_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2yal6o/mar_08_1300_utc_us_midnights_4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2xs3sv/mar_03_2015_utc_eu_saltyuhc_1_vanilla_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2ycfyh/mar_08_1815_utc_us_rewindfates_8_rto6_moles_no/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2y1ck0/mar_05_1915_utc_us_midnights_3_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x8fkf/feb_26_1445_utc_us_midnights_2_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x858f/feb_26_1315_utc_us_midnights_1_ffa_truelove/ ) Proof of games

Disconnected UHC

Aqrons' #15-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com
Join: west.disconnecteduhc.com if you are late and want to play Open PvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 20:55
Whitelist on: 21:00 or when full
Game start: 21:05 or 21:07 hopefully
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario:
Scenario's Definitions - Barebones: You get a diamond every kill, goldenapple, 2 string, 32 arrows can't mine diamonds or gold - CutClean: Don't need to smelt ores, food, anything - Genie: Everytime you get a kill you have a chance to grant a wish - BestPvE: Every 10 minutes if you don't take damage you get an extra heart
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.schorchhcf.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Links:

All the things for donor on the website are for private games, not Reddit.
Server info: 5 Gigabytes hosted in Montreal, Canada
submitted by AaronWithAQ to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.12.06 15:01 AaronWithAQ Dec 06 14:30 UTC NA - Aqron's #12 - FFA - Cutclean, BestPvE, Genie, Barebones

https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2str6u/jan_18_1300_utc_eu_beachiepvps_16_to2_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2stup2/jan_18_1415_utc_us_beachiepvps_17_ffa_vanilla/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dom14/jul_18_1215_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_1_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3drexp/jul_18_1930_utc_na_fatalityuhcs_3_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3duxeu/jul_19_1945_utc_na_fatalityuhcs4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/3dqf9i/july_18_1400_utc_na_fatalityuhc_2_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2yal6o/mar_08_1300_utc_us_midnights_4_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2xs3sv/mar_03_2015_utc_eu_saltyuhc_1_vanilla_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2ycfyh/mar_08_1815_utc_us_rewindfates_8_rto6_moles_no/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2y1ck0/mar_05_1915_utc_us_midnights_3_ffa_cutclean/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x8fkf/feb_26_1445_utc_us_midnights_2_ffa_truelove/ https://www.reddit.com/UHCMatches/comments/2x858f/feb_26_1315_utc_us_midnights_1_ffa_truelove/ ) Proof of games

Disconnected UHC

Aqrons' #12-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com
Join: west.disconnecteduhc.com if you are late and want to play Open PvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 14:30
Whitelist on: 14:45 or when full
Game start: 14:46 hopefully
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario:
Scenario's Definitions - Barebones: You get a diamond every kill, goldenapple, 2 string, 32 arrows can't mine diamonds or gold - CutClean: Don't need to smelt ores, food, anything - Genie: Everytime you get a kill you have a chance to grant a wish - BestPvE: Every 10 minutes if you don't take damage you get an extra heart
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.schorchhcf.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Links:

All the things for donor on the website are for private games, not Reddit.
Server info: 5 Gigabytes hosted in Montreal, Canada
submitted by AaronWithAQ to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.11.11 20:45 GrimCreeper0528 Nov 11 20:15 UTC NA - GrimIsHere's #2 - FFA - TrueLove, CutClean

Disconnected UHC

Grim's #2-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com
Join: 104.254.25.69:57012 if you are late and want to play Open pvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 20:15
Whitelist on: 20:18 or when full
Game start: 20:25 Max.
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 40
Gamemode/Scenario: Rewarding Longshots, Truelove, Cutclean, Best PvE, FFA
Scenario's Definitions
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: Off
  • Apple rates: 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.schorchhcf.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Links:

submitted by GrimCreeper0528 to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


2015.11.02 15:12 DBosscommander Nov 02 14:45 UTC NA - DBoss' #47 - FFA - Truelove Cutclean Best PvE Rewarding Longshots [Last game?]

Disconnected UHC

DBoss' #47-
Server IP: play.disconnecteduhc.com
Join: 104.254.25.69:57012 if you are late and want to play Open pvP
Version: 1.7.X or 1.8.X
Whitelist off: 14:45
Whitelist on: 14:48 or when full
Game start: 14:50 hopefully
Game length: 60 mins + Meetup
Player Slots: 100
Gamemode/Scenario: Rewarding Longshots, Truelove, Cutclean, Best PvE, FFA
Scenario's Definitions
Rules:
  • Rollercoastering: ON
  • Pokeholes: ON
  • Stealing: ON
  • Stalking: OFF - Always ON in rush games
  • Stripmining: OFF
  • TS3 & Working Mic: Needed in team games
  • Absorption: on
  • Apple rates: 1 or 2% in Non-Cutclean games, 5% w/ Shears in Cutclean games
  • Flint rates: Always 75%
  • Nether: OFF
Teamspeak: My server has a public teamspeak for anyone in the reddit community to use. We advise you use it!
IP: ts.schorchhcf.com
If you do not wish to use it. You could use your own or the Official Reddit Teamspeak Server.

IP: uhc.gg

Links:

submitted by DBosscommander to UHCMatches [link] [comments]


True love definition - YouTube WHAT IS LOVE revealed by LORD KRISHNA  REAL LOVE by LORD ... True love explained  Abraham Twerski - YouTube True love definition - YouTube The Definition of True Love - Jayson Gaddis Definnation of love  True Love Definition  What Is ... True love definition.. broken 💓 💔 - YouTube What is True Love  Definition of True Love  Pure Love  Pujya Niruma True Love__ Real Love __ Definition Of Love___ - YouTube 9 signs of true love in relationship  animated video ...

Truelove: Definition with Truelove Pictures and Photos

  1. True love definition - YouTube
  2. WHAT IS LOVE revealed by LORD KRISHNA REAL LOVE by LORD ...
  3. True love explained Abraham Twerski - YouTube
  4. True love definition - YouTube
  5. The Definition of True Love - Jayson Gaddis
  6. Definnation of love True Love Definition What Is ...
  7. True love definition.. broken 💓 💔 - YouTube
  8. What is True Love Definition of True Love Pure Love Pujya Niruma
  9. True Love__ Real Love __ Definition Of Love___ - YouTube
  10. 9 signs of true love in relationship animated video ...

signs of true love : True love may be hard to define, but the signs to read true love can be clearly seen in every perfect loving relationship. signs of true... The Definition of True Love - Jayson Gaddis https://relationshipschool.net/ The definition of true love isn't what you think. Take a closer look in this shor... True Love__ Real Love __ Definition Of Love___ In this video, the definition of True Love is revealed by Lord Krishna. What is the real meaning of True Love? by Lord Krishna. If you like this content then... #Definition_of_True_Love #Pure_Love #Pujya_Niruma How can I understand whether I have true love for my loved one? Being in teenage, how should I recognize that there is true love amongst us? Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. BEHIND THE SCENES: https://www.instagram.com/spiro/ An Original Word Porn Production of Abraham Twerski Abraham Twerski explains the meaning of true love. Tr... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Sometimes no need to show.just feel it Definnation of love True Love Definition What Is Love Definition How To Recognize True Love